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(Not that they always do, of course, but there’s more of an expectation of it.) But a really big part of it is the reality that most women doing online dating quickly learn that if they send polite rejections to men who contact them, they’ll receive an enormous number of hostile and even abusive responses.

And you can’t always tell who those are going to come from!

They call it ‘breaking up’, ‘it not working out’, ‘not getting the job’, ‘the friendship growing apart’, ‘different priorities’, ‘a disagreement’, ‘they said NO’ etc.

In dating and relationships, ‘rejection’ is impossible to avoid because not It’s unavoidable and being able to say NO, to opt out of situations, to admit when something isn’t working, is part of the natural order of freeing yourself up to be available for a mutual relationship.

Many people, especially those with a penchant for unavailable relationships, struggle with rejection and take it very personally, which is unsurprising when they also fear making mistakes and engage in trying to ‘win’ people over.

go through it although you’ll notice that those who cope with rejection, don’t call it ‘rejection’.

Part of it, too, is that there’s more of an understanding (or at least there’s supposed to be) that hiring and applying for jobs is, well, business not personal.

As a result, everyone involved is expected to handle rejection reasonably professionally.

dating polite rejection ways-62dating polite rejection ways-65

Every day I hear stories of people who are completely overwhelmed by rejection or repeatedly throwing themselves under the same rejection bus because they don’t want to deal with the pain of accepting someone’s choice in another person or their treatment of them.

Employers are expected to close the loop when someone sends them business correspondence, which is what a job application is.

With online dating, there’s more of a cultural norm (among most people, at least) that if you’re not interested, there’s no need to respond to say that; it’s okay to just delete the message.

It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering.

The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups.




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